Monday, November 28, 2016

HOW TO Detect Alien Robots Amongst Us

According to the most credible news source, James Dyson held a secret meeting with an alien ambassador just last month to find a new technology for a hand dryer.

I think it's about time we reckon with the fact that extraterrestrial beings walk amongst us now.

We They could be any one of us and we might not even have the slightest clue. In fact, it's believed that alien population has been increasing. Many have called it an epidemic, often blaming the increase on vaccines weak radio detection technology, or mothers being detached from their children before they get abducted and replaced, or even having too much money.

All very scientifically valid reasons of course, but this is nothing but a deflection. A deflection from the truth.

The more accurate reason for a rise in alien tribes among us is obviously because they're winning. Their race has been sending aliens little by little, observing our their assimilation among the human race. And the experiment is clearly yielding positive results since they are sending more and more of their species to take over our planet.

There couldn't possibly be another explanation. 

Here are some of the traits that could help you to detect the alien robots:

Monotonous Voice

Like a calm, flat-ironed sea. Source
Have you ever had to ask someone any of the following phrases?
  • "You ever auditioned for the gold tin droid in Star Wars?" or
  • "Your voice kinda resembles my GPS. Wanna give me some directions?" or
  • "Open the pod bay doors, Hal."
In which case, you have very much likely interacted with an alien robot.

Alien robots rarely have much inflection in their voices. This is how most of them are programmed. This is mainly because their emotions (considering they do have those) are not exactly best friends with their tone of voice.

Keep in mind, though, that some of the alien robots run on softwares that are variable, and are most likely upgraded to resemble a human voice to integrate into our society. They may install this software upgrade by watching our TV shows and movies. They are excellent imitators.

Strange Intolerance To Our Atmosphere

How does one not find this environment normal?
Ever met a fella whose neurology just doesn't sit right with our atmosphere?
  • Maybe they're often too cold or too hot?
  • Or cover their ears because of noises that are really not that loud?
  • Or tend to flinch or reject human touch and textures of some clothing made on Earth?

You've very likely to have encountered an extraterrestrial species.

Their bodies are not designed to tolerate our atmospheric pressures and everything that comes with it. You know why aliens are sensitive to loud noises? Because they were born in space, and space has no noise. I learned that from a Stanley Kubrick movie.

Cannot Recognize Facial Expressions and Human Body Language.

An actual alien robot interpretation of a human face.
Ever met someone who never realizes or takes too much time to realize the subtle signals you're giving out quite profoundly?
  • Or they just cannot tell that you're angry?
  • Or they cannot read your mind? 
  • Or they never realized you were flirting with them even after you married them?

Yup. You have captured an alien robot.

Because they're of another species, interpreting body language and facial expressions do not come intuitively to alien robots. The software installed doesn't prioritize social information as much as it does with exploring the universe or collecting pokemon cards or whatever it is that they do.

There are many other traits of alien robots you can look out for, such as literal thinking processes due to their algorithm designs, repetitive body movement to re-calibrate to our environment, or re-charging their social need away from humans in solitude as they telepathically commune with their alien lords.

But the most important thing to remember is, even if they are different and quirky and silly, we must accept them and appreciate them for their brilliant neurology. Afterall, they are outta this world.

Out of this world delicious.

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